As the world turns…

So, alright, I wasn’t going to say anything about this because it’s foolish enough already, but now I’m pissed off:

CALLING OUT Twisty Faster for referring to a fellow member of the sex class as a CUNT is not an attempt on my part to “take her down,” to prove my moral superiority, or to “get my stats up.”

Guess what? Twisty Faster was WRONG. And she refuses to apologize.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I do NOT endorse the practice of remaining silent in the face of others’ feminist faux pas merely for the sake of comfort. I do NOT believe that one who maintains a feminist blog should get a Free Pass for using gendered slurs–no matter how genius and woman-centered their collective body of writings is. I will not be silent just because I am not viewed as her “equal.” Which is whole other load of patriarchal bullshit that I won’t get into just now.

But I am not calling names. Quite the contrary, I THANKED her for responding with an acknowledgment that her terminology was, indeed, NOT FEMINIST. I validated the aspects of her activity in the blog-o-sphere that I DO believe have feminist value.

I was pleased when I initially found her blog; I did celebrate the presence of such radical feminist views on the internet. Because that’s what I was looking for.

But then I read more. And I realized that, while IBTP provided humorous critiques of misogyny, it did not offer the kind of on-the-ground instruction in Woman Loving that I craved. You see, Twisty seems to lead a Separatist lifestyle, she seems to be a lesbian, yet she continues to EVADE these subjects with a commitment that makes you wonder WHY…? So I kept reading, surfed over to other blogs, identified new haunts, made new friends.

And I started my own blog. For my own catharsis.

I’m not ALWAYS nice. I’m not always RIGHT. And I’m not about to pretend that I am.

I consider HUMILITY to be a VIRTUE.

And I try to practice it. Call me morally superior if you want. But I have apologized more than once on this internet. And I expect to do it again. Because I. MAKE. MISTAKES.

When someone else points out my error, I do NOT jump to the conclusion that they are mean-spirited and wish to HURT me. What kind of narcissistic bullshit is that?? No, I CONSIDER their statement with the respect that (hopefully) they have shown me by taking the time to discuss/point out my flawed viewpoint.

And if this someone, who has shown me the courtesy of reading my work and who has taken the time to correct me, is a smaller blogger than I (ha!), I would not imagine that they were merely on a self-serving mission to get their own blog stats up! I might think that if they were wrong. Or if they continued to berate me after I apologized.

My initial words to Twist Faster were rather harsh, I admit. And I am not going to claim that the end (her inadequate response) justifies the means (my harshness).

I was, however, quite distressed, and even angered, by her obvious display of superiority and stubborn unwillingness to be accountable for her deliberate usage of misogynist language—it is NOT feminist. Not in my book. I maintain that behavior of this sort is reminiscent of patriarchal power dynamics (domination/submission).

She is not, in my mind, absolved of these characterizations based on her response because, while she acknowledged the misogyny, she did NOT take responsibility for the hypocrisy it evidenced. She did not show any interest in humility. Instead, she adopted an exaggerated persecution complex.

Just for the record, here’s what I said.

Cuntalina?!? CUNT-A-LINA?!?!? O.M.G. Well, if you’re saying that, I’m saying this:

Refusing to be accountable for one’s words is an implicit expression of superiority reminiscent of Patriarchy. That’s how males retain their authority; they refuse to be accountable for their atrocious behavior—nor is there a social institution that requires them to be accountable. (No, the law doesn’t work.)

I mean, are you done with blogging? Have you become so far above reproach that you’re pulling CUNTALINA out of your ass and dropping it like heart-warming nature crap onto the internet? Unequal power dynamics are not feminist. Especially when you scare the Blametariat into relative silence by threatening to stop blogging.

Even IF hellonhairylegs is right and you made a mistake, be a WOMAN and apologize. Or don’t. Claim that you don’t care what anyone thinks and you’ll repeat a Cuntalina chant accompanied by the Butt Dance until the cows come home. But say SOMETHING!

TF: <It’s not a very nice or feminist word, cuntalina, that’s true.>

Thank you for acknowledging the misogynist meaning of cuntalina. You had a moment of feminist indifference. I get it. That’s all I wanted to hear.

TF: <Perhaps using it in a moment of insouciance invalidates my entire worldview.>

No, it doesn’t. But, really, what kind of feminists would we be if we didn’t CHECK each other? I can only speak for myself, but I WANT other women to call me out when I’ve gone too far. I hope they ask me nicely the 1st time. I hope they allow me the occasional human indiscretion. But I hope they say something. That’s what intelligent, radical feminist Sisterhood is about. At least, that’s what I think.

And by the way, that wasn’t ALL I wanted to hear. It’s just all that could be reasonably expected.

Jill, I called you out. Yes, I asked for your accountability. By your own admission, you used the term CUNTALINA on purpose. When the calls for your response were sounded, surely, a reaction from the Blametariat was expected (something more than blind adoration, that is). Whether our faux pas are the result of honest mistakes or willful insolence, I don’t believe in ignoring them for the sake of comfort.

I do not enjoy hostility and I do not wish to fan its flames, for they are counter-productive to our shared interests. As I’ve already stated, I was treating you the way that I, as a non-superhero blogger, expect to be treated.

I do not intend to nominate you for Misogynist of the Year, nor does Cuntalinagate invalidate your entire world view. That is hyperbole. Twisty’s blog has undeniable feminist value–particularly because of its reliability, popularity, humorous analogies/terminology, and the collective educational contribution it consistently offers to the students of feminism. I would never take that from you.

And you know what? I don’t want to take that from her. I don’t need to. But this doesn’t mean that I LOVE everything she does and everything she stands for. Because I don’t. She is NOT above reproach. And she is NOT above critical analysis.

To repeat, I do not agree with or support Twisty Faster’s behavior in regard to Cuntalinagate.

I’m not trying to be the leader, the next Big Feminist. I’m too SEPARATIST for that. But I refuse to follow blindly. Can you IMAGINE such a woman???

RADICAL!!

I will not be shamed into silence. I will speak my mind when I feel that it is appropriate and necessary to do so. Because my mind works and I got AGENCY.

PS. Just in case anyone cares, the all-knowing WordPress Stats tell me that I get more traffic from AROOO than IBTP.