I have my period.
Oh yes, yes, I do. And my question is: do you think it’s OK to talk about menstruation with your co-workers? I’m inclined to say no, we shouldn’t do that. But why not? It’s totally natural. And totally universal for women (past, present, or future!). The reason I don’t–or haven’t, I should say, since I’ve been more open lately– is because I think people (primarily men) feel free to make negative assessments about your professional judgment. You know, you mention PMS once and suddenly you’re a crazy bitch on the rag all the time-even according to other women!
So, I don’t have particularly terrible physical symptoms. I’m bloated, I have cramps, but 3 Advil every four hours does the trick. I can’t really complain given what I know other women go through. However, my mental health suffers quite noticeably when I have PMS. I’m sad, cranky, paranoid, depressed, I cry a lot and I can’t “handle” much of anything. Basically, my frustration tolerance goes waaaaay down. Now, if this lasted for three to four days ending predictably in my period, I’d know exactly what I was in for and for how long. But I have a really long cycle that can last up to 37 days (good thing I’m a lesbian!). So there I am, day after day after day after day, eating brownies by the pan, crying whenever I drop my pencil, and getting variously pissed and nervous every time I get a message from someone. Ugh! Many times it’s so bad that I have to question my own judgment! And thank goddess my partner will talk me down when needed. I might’ve done some really regretful things if she wasn’t around to keep me in check!
Back to work. Sometimes I feel like I should disclaim my passionate frustration with a particular situation by reference to my PMS. Because it’s true! Not every time I’m legitimately upset; but there are definitely times that I *know* I’m reacting more strongly because of my hormones. Last month, I blurted something like that to my boss (oh yeah, by the way, I can also be impulsive). Then I explained how I don’t usually say things about my PMS, blah, blah, people think you’re a crazy woman, blah. She laughed it off and was like, whatever! Who cares what people think! I was grateful, but I wondered how other women think about period-talk in the workplace.
One of my old bosses used to work in sales; when she had PMS her female boss would put her on the accounts that needed to be paid and/or had outstanding issues. She’d get in there, take no shit, and finish the deal. I thought that seemed like a productive way to harness hormonal intensity! But apparently everyone in the office knew about her period. Maybe the guys were jealous of her extra boost of fire? No, I doubt it too. Even though they should be! Gawd.
I don’t work in sales. I’m one of those people who wants to get along with everyone (I know you’d have never guessed! Oh what a Good Girl I am!). And I don’t have an outlet for all my emotional angst (um, except blogging). I just have to try really hard not to cry at work!
So , do you talk PMS at work? In front of the guys? What about your boss? Do you think we *should* be able to talk about it? I do. Especially as a fan of radical openness, I think we should be able to discuss the factors that affect our behavior. But I don’t think we’re there quite yet.
I made these little baby hats while menstrating. SO PROUD. (And no, I don't want any babies of my own. Don't even mention it to me!)
Aw, those little wee hats are so darling! Are they sewn?
I talk about my period all the time. Well, not all the time. But if it’s germaine. And I will mention it to men, too.
I think I missed a day of work once for cramps. The next day one of my male coworkers asked me how I was doing. I took the bottle of Advil out of my pocket and said, “Now that I have this, I’m fine.” He looked puzzled, so I said, “Female problems.”
Unfortunately, I have become intolerant to NSAIDS recently. One dose and my stomach is wrecked for days, so I had to go on the pill to make the cramps lessen. I’m taking Loestrin, which is awesome. I can take it for three months straight before stopping for a week, so I have fewer periods, and when I do have a period, the flow is light, the cramps are weak enough to be dealt with with aspirin alone, and PMS is pretty much non-existent. I am not a big fan of pharmaceutical intervention for natural physiologic processes, but I’ll fight to the death anyone who tries to take my Loestrin away!
Yes, they are sewn! I used my sewing machine (with a few calls to my mother for technical assistance!) and recycled cashmere sweaters. I’m soooo ridiculously pleased with myself!
I hate artificial hormones!! Not that I begrudge you for using them! They’ve helped stabilize my cycle and the corresponding mental anguish in the past, but my daily anti-depressant is all the pharmaceutical intervention I’m willing to allow at the moment. I HATE the drug companies.
And I really hate period shame!!! What woman-hating bullshit is that??
Yes, drug companies are evil. I wish they would just disappear.
I wrote a post about periods a while back. I dunno if you saw it or not:
http://veganprimate.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/love-me-love-my-menstruation/
THAT IS AN AWESOME POST!!! Fucking awesome. I love it! Thank you for pointing me to it–I only wish I could comment on it there.
I forgot how grossed out men are by periods!! (cuz I don’t talk to them in general and I definitely have NO sexual contact with them whatsoever) They won’t even TOUCH menstrual blood! Not with their hands and certainly not with their precious penises. Ahahahaha! I think it’s kinda funny, actually. Fucking idiots. Anyways, vp, your analysis is RIGHT ON. Hate menstrual blood=hate women. No ifs, ands, or buts about it! I’m subscriber to the theory that menstruation is akin to a cleaning process, necessary for proper vaginal homeostasis. That’s another reason I oppose depo-provera (which I was on from about ages 16-20) and other period-hating and period-minimizing drugs.
PS. Female dogs menstruate too!
PS. Female dogs menstruate too!
Not really. They do have a bloody discharge during estrus. But a dog comes in heat twice a year and it lasts 3 weeks.
Menstruation is monthly. And menstruation happens when we are least likely to be fertile, whereas dogs are fertile during estrus. Our fertile time is during ovulation. Menstruation is a distinctly human female thing.
Do you know if great apes have menstrual cycles? My mom is an anthropologist (she used to do field work on handedness in gorillas, then sacrificed her career for her husband and bebes, and now teaches anthro part-time at my college), and she says they have etrus cycles, but wikipedia says have menstrual cycles.
I have been trying to be more open about vagina stuff lately. I made my mom buy me tampons and pads even after I moved out of the house, because I was so embarrassed by them. But I’ve been working on it! I not only buy them myself now, but will talk about yeast infections in front of random people.
I had a boyfriend who didn’t care when I had my period and didn’t even mind if I slept naked and he woke up with blood on his legs. He sucked in a lot of other ways, though.
Oestrus cycles, or seasonal cycles, are what other mammals and primates get – but vg is right, if they have a bloody discharge at all, it is when they are ovulating. Some species develop vaginal plugs of mucous which may be streaked with blood.
One theory of why human females lost oestrus, or seasonal cycles, and developed monthly cycles instead, was a way of increasing fertility during the Ice Age. Survival became difficult, babies died, pregnancies miscarried, poor nutrition meant women didn’t concieve or ovulate in season, or couldn’t produce enough breastmilk etc – those who could ovulate more often, were more likely to survive over the generations. The bleeding is as you suspect – a cleansing mechanism.
I did some research years ago, on why so many women now in the current era, complain of dysfunctional periods – like pain, bloating, fluid retention, kidney/bladder issues and other physical discomfort (or emotional) during the pre-menstrual part of the cycle, or of heavy bleeding, or prolonged bleeding (the list is endless) – almost 1 in 8 women have fibroids or polyps by the age of 35, but only half of these will have symptoms. And half again, will have such serious symptoms they will need a hysterectomy.
One theory I read from a feminist doctor/researcher, is the lowered physical activity of modern women compared to our foremothers. Increased stress as well – men more likely to get heart disease, women more likely to get menstrual disease (and associated kidney problems, diabetes etc due to fluid retention).
I used to get severe PMS, physical more than emotional, bad bloating on the ankles, and extremely libidinous – which I found out later, is not hormonal, but fluid retention – all that fluid pressing on the vulval nerves. Puts your blood sugar and salts balance out of whack too, and so kidneys arent working properly – (so the craving for chocolate is stupid if you have bloating) – I found a bowl of steamed crunchy greens was one of the best things ever – and some herbal diuretics like dandelion tea etc… and veggie juice (not fruit, too sweet, unless naturally not-so-sweet, like cranberry, lemon, grapefruit etc)
The best thing society could do, in my opinion, is have a red tent for us when we’re menstruating… massages, ladies, steam baths, chocolate, yoga, chanting, sound good?
Also, I always have to have a couple gfs at work that are open about their periods. I find that as soon as someone cracks the ice, we keep up on each others schedules naturally! Sometimes it’s as simple as needing to borrow a tammy (if you use those) or see if someone has any Vicoden.
PMS is friggin REAL!!! I agree with your concerns about openness though. You can always let ME know when you’re flowing, girlfriend!